2009 Movie Reviews

So why do we love to go to the movies? What is it about sitting in a darkened auditorium, among a swarm of rude thoughtless jerks, noisy people, crying babies, cell phones ringing, pigs masticating on snack foods, watching other people's stories on the screen, that so inspires us? Moves us?

Going to the movies is unlike any other form of art. Sure, much of what comes out of Hollywood's absurd system is hardly “art”, but sometimes you come across a film that

is a critically acclaimed, or a significant "must-see" film.

The following is a series of capsule reviews of movies that I have seen in the Cineplex

Theaters of Las Vegas, Nevada, Lehi, Utah, American Fork, Utah, Cedar City, Utah, St. George, Utah, Honolulu, Hawaii, Kapolei, Hawaii, Lahaina, Hawaii, and Salt Lake City, Utah, in 2008.

Some of the synopsis comments are taken from http://www.rottentomatoes.com/, and http://www.imdb.com/. Most of the sardonic observations are mine, as are the letter grades.

1. 17 Again (Grade C-) This relive-your-senior-year of High School comedy falls a little short of the mark.
2. (500) Days of Summer (Grade A-) Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy tries to win girl back: It’s a tale you’ve heard a million times before. But this time it’s told in such a relatable and inventive way.
3. African Adventure 3D: Safari in the Okavango (IMAX) (Grade A+) Explores the powers of South Africa's "Big Five" indigenous species: the elephant, the Cape Buffalo, the rhino, the leopard and the lion, as experienced through the travels of zoologist Liesl Eichenberger.
4. Aliens in the Attic (Grade C+) this family comedy is about kids fighting off aliens who are trying to take over the world.
5. Angels & Demons (Grade B-) Violent, occult thriller delivers as promised.
6. A Perfect Getaway (Grade C+) follows a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Hawaii who run into two hikers who turn out to be vicious killers.
7. Australia (Grade C+) a shamelessly melodramatic, often eccentric spectacle with true-blue blockbuster potential, but instead features some cringe-making Harlequin Romance moments over a butt-numbing 2 hours and 45 minutes.
8. Away We Go (Grade B) the movie follows the journey of an expectant couple as they travel the U.S. in search of a place to put down roots and raise a family.
9. Bedtime Stories (Grade D+) a hotel handyman's life changes when the lavish bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to magically come true.
10. Bride Wars (Grade D-) it's about a catfight, but this movie's a dog.
11. Brothers Bloom, The (Grade D-) a movie about a conning job done by brothers known as brothers Bloom.
12. Brüno (Grade F-) tasteless tacky vulgar disgusting trashy cheap ugly horrible boring crap. Strong critique to follow.
13. City of Ember (Grade C-) the underground city of Ember is facing a blackout, and two brave kids find the escape route before the entire city is plunged in darkness.
14. Class, The (Grade A) Energetic and bright, this hybrid of documentary style and dramatic plotting looks at the present and future of France through the interactions of a teacher and his students in an inner city high school.
15. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Grade B) if you like Isla Fisher and have 100 minutes to kill, then Confessions may be able to squeak a few laughs out of you along the way.
16. Coral Reef Adventure (IMAX) (Grade A) offers a breathtaking look at the picturesque scenery of the South Pacific.
17. Defiance (Grade B+) relates the suspenseful and inspiring story of Jewish partisans who fought the Nazi’s from their base in the Nalibocka Forest in Belorussia.
18. Dinosaurs 3D: Giants of Patagonia (IMAX) (Grade A) provides a unique occasion to get a true experience of the incredible size and strength of these creatures that once roamed the Earth.
19. District 9 (Grade D+) Refugee aliens are segregated to a South African ghetto in this boring, monotonous sci-fi film.
20. Dolphins and Whales 3D: Tribes of the Ocean (IMAX) (Grade A) Takes you from the dazzling coral reefs of the Bahamas to the warm depths of the waters of the exotic Kingdom of Tonga for a close encounter with the surviving tribes of the ocean; fragile creatures that are capable of sophisticated communication and social interaction.
21. Doubt (Grade A-) Set in a Bronx Catholic school in 1964, a nun is faced with uncertainty as she has grave concerns about a male colleague.
22. Duplicity (Grade C+) is far too contrived and convoluted to be a good film.
23. Earth (Grade B+) the cycle of life - and death, and struggle - as experienced around the globe, in the air, under the sea and atop the disappearing Arctic ice.
24. Easy Virture (Grade B+) a young English man falls for the charms of an American and decides to marry her. But when he takes her home to his parental house to meet his parents, they don’t get a warm reception. Instead, his mother appears to dislike his wife.
25. Echelon Conspiracy, The (Grade C) high-tech action movie that weaves a vacuous story of greed, intrigue and the price of national security.
26. Fired UP (Grade F) All in all, Fired Up is a predictable, formulaic, silly and unhumorous throwaway movie, short on charm.
27. Food, Inc. (Grade B- ) In one and a half enlightening and sobering hours, it's a tutorial on what's on the other end of your fork.
28. Funny People (Grade C-) If you’re a big fan of the “F” word this is the film for you. If you are a big fan of entertainment, Funny People, can be counted on to disappoint.
29. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Grade C-) a bachelor is haunted by the ghosts of his past girlfriends at his younger brother's wedding.
30. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Grade D+) the characters were "as plastic as the toys that inspired them."
31. Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, The (Grade D-) is a grubby-looking comedy about the art of the sale.
32. Gran Torino (Grade A-) a film about racism, mentorship and overcoming the demons of our past.
33. Hangover, The (Grade D+) as forgettable as a night of hard drinking, this frat-level comedy is good for a few laughs but never quite gels.
34. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Grade B-) Voldemort is tightening his grip on both the Muggle and wizarding worlds and Hogwarts is no longer the safe haven it once was.
35. He's Just Not That Into You (Grade B-) a movie of interconnecting story arcs that deals with the challenges of reading or misreading human behavior.
36. Hurt Locker, The (Grade B+) A visceral, intense dramatization of a US Army bomb squad's final month in Baghdad.
37. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (Grade B-) the kids will like it. It’s only 90 minutes. There are worse ways to spend an air-conditioned afternoon.
38. I Love You, Beth Cooper (Grade D+) The last night of high school takes an unexpected turn after a geeky grad declares his love for hottie cheerleader Beth Cooper in his valedictorian speech.
39. I Love You, Man (Grade C+) A mildly funny comedy about the difficulty of making and keeping adult male friendships alive in these fast-paced times.
40. Impressions de France (Grade A) is a travelogue of sorts, and features a soundtrack of French composers.
41. Inglourious Basterds (Grade C+) A violent fairy tale in which the history of WWII is wildly reimagined.
42. International, The (Grade C+) an Interpol agent is determined to expose an arms dealing ring responsible for facilitating acts of terrorism around the globe.
43. Is Anybody There? (Grade B) about a senior and a young boy who don't quite fit in with their surroundings.
44. Julie & Julia (Grade A-) In 365 Days, with 524 Recipes, and in 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen, an amateur chef decides to cook every recipe in a cookbook from acclaimed celebrity chef Julia Child in order to chronicle it in a blog over the course of a year.
45. Knowing (Grade C-) Only Nicolas Cage die-hard fans could love this one, as it struggles to not only identify itself as a film, but to create characters that viewers care about.
46. Land of the Lost (Grade D) about Dr. Rick Marshall and his research assistant as well as a redneck survivalist who are all dragged into an alternate world full of creatures and dinosaurs.
47. Last Chance Harvey (Grade B+) In London for his daughter's wedding, a rumpled man finds his romantic spirits lifted by a new woman in his life.
48. Mall Cop (Grade D) what you see on screen, plays out much like a grown-up version of Home Alone with an adult playing the role of would-be hero rather than a child.
49. Moon (Grade C+) is a compelling work of science-fiction.
50. My life in Ruins (Grade B) a romantic comedy set amongst the ruins of Ancient Greece.
51. My Sister’s Keeper (Grade A-) After their daughter is stricken with leukemia, a couple conceives a younger sister who can provide a donor match, but the family is torn apart when, after years of medical procedures, the healthy younger sibling sues her parents for the right to decide how her body is used.
52. New in Town (Grade C-) A Miami businesswoman is transferred to rural Minnesota, and while she is there she re-evaluates her big-city values.
53. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (Grade C-) Security guard Larry Daley infiltrates the Smithsonian Institute in order to rescue Jedediah and Octavius, who have been shipped to the museum by mistake.
54. Nights in Rodanthe (Grade B-) about two divorced adults, both needing a new love interest, a rambling old bed and breakfast, and a violent storm
55. O Canada! (Grade A) is a Circle-Vision 360° movie. It showcases many images of Canada's cities and sights, including Quebec, Ontario, the RCMP Musical Ride, the Calgary Stampede, Vancouver and Vancouver Harbour, the Ottawa River, and more.
56. One Man’s Treasure (Grade B-) A group of Mormon missionaries re-open an area and find a journal with a clue that leads them on a treasure hunt.
57. Proposal, The (Grade B) A pushy boss forces her young assistant to marry her in order to keep her Visa status in the U.S. and avoid deportation to Canada.
58. Public Enemies (Grade B+) Tells the story of the most spectacular crime wave in American history: the two-year battle between J. Edgar Hoover's FBI and John Dillinger, Bonnie and Clyde, Baby Face Nelson, Pretty Boy Floyd, and the Barkers in the 1930's.
59. PUSH (Grade C-) When 'Push' comes to shove, unfortunately this sci-fi action flick just doesn't cut it.
60. Reader, The (Grade A) This deceptively simple film is set in post-war Germany and explores complex themes of love, guilt, betrayal and shame.
61. Race to Witch Mountain (Grade B-) isn’t a perfect movie, but it is fun and entertaining.
62. Rachel Getting Married (Grade C-) a dull, tiresome, uncongenial look at family dynamics and addiction.
63. Reflections of China (Grade A) a Circle-Vision 360° movie. The film takes the viewer on a tour of the Chinese countryside and historical structures and buildings. Some sites that are seen are The Great Wall of China, The Forbidden City in Beijing, Hunan, Guilin, Suzhou, Hong Kong, and Shanghai.
64. Revolutionary Road (Grade A-) is a sad yet decent look at the marital woes of a young 1950's couple, living in suburban Connecticut.
65. Seven Pounds (Grade B-) An IRS agent with a fateful secret embarks on an extraordinary journey of redemption by forever changing the lives of seven strangers.
66. Star Trek (Grade A-) goes back to the legend's roots with a boldness that brings a fatigued franchise back to life.
67. Stoning of Soraya M.,The (Grade B+) This gripping film illuminates the danger of Islamic fundamentalism, gender apartheid, and mob rule with this fictionalized adaptation of Freidoune Sahebjam’s best-selling novel centering on a true-life tragedy.
68. Slumdog Millionaire! (Grade B+) the film tells the story of a young man from the slums of Mumbai who appears on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? and exceeds people's expectations, thereby arousing the suspicions of the game show host and of law enforcement officials.
69. State of Play (Grade C+) is about a rising congressman and an investigative journalist embroiled in a case of seemingly unrelated, brutal murders.
70. Sugar (Grade B+) tells the fictional story of Dominican baseball players and their adjustment to life in the U.S.
71. Taken (Grade B) is a classic good guys win and bad guys lose, shoot-em-up action/adventure flick.
72. Taking Woodstock (Grade B-) A man working at his parents' motel in the Catskills inadvertently sets in motion the generation-defining concert in the summer of 1969.
73. Terminator Salvation (Grade C+) Pretty meaningless, but fun, the fourth Terminator is a loud, explosive escapist film.
74. Twilight (Grade B) a teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire.
75. Ugly Truth, The (Grade C+) A macho morning TV show correspondent makes a bet with his love-challenged producer: If his tips on how to land and keep a guy don't work, he'll quit the business.
76. Under the Sea 3D (IMAX) (Grade A) In IMAX 3D, the images appear to leap off the screen and float around the theatre, putting the audience IN the movie.
77. VALKYRIE (Grade B+) Tells the story of a failed attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler, the leader of Nazi Germany, inside his "Wolf's Lair" field headquarters near Rastenburg, East Prussia in 1944.
78. Whatever Works (Grade C-) explores the relationship between a crotchety misanthrope, and a naïve, impressionable young runaway from the south. When the runaway’s uptight parents arrive in New York to rescue her, they are quickly drawn into wildly unexpected romantic entanglements.
79. Wrestler, The (Grade A) A drama centered on retired professional wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson as he makes his way through the independent circuit.
80. Year One (Grade D-) Having been shunned by their village, cavemen Zed and Oh go in search of meaning and a new home in this dull, uninteresting film.