2007 Movie Reviews

So why do we love to go to the movies? What is it about sitting in a darkened auditorium, among a swarm of rude thoughtless jerks, noisy people, crying babies, cell phones ringing, pigs masticating on snack foods, watching other people's stories on the screen, that so inspires us? Moves us?

Going to the movies is unlike any other form of art. Sure, much of what comes out of Hollywood's absurd system is hardly “art”, but sometimes you come across a film that

is a critically acclaimed, a significant "must-see" film.

The following is a series of capsule reviews of movies that I have seen in the Cineplex

Theaters of Las Vegas, Nevada, Lehi, Utah, American Fork, Utah, Cedar City, Utah, St. George, Utah, Honolulu, Hawaii, Kapolei, Hawaii, Lahaina, Hawaii, Tempe, Arizona, Salt Lake City, Utah, Orlando, Florida, and Atlanta, Georgia., in 2007.

The synopsis comments are taken from http://www.rottentomatoes.com/, and http://www.imdb.com/. Most of the sardonic observations are mine, as are the letter grades.

300 (Grade C+) a gory, idiotic, film version of the Battle of Thermopylae of 480 BC, where an alliance of Greek city-states fought the invading Persian Empire army at the pass of Thermopylae in central Greece. Vastly outnumbered, the Greeks held back the Persians for three days in one of history's most famous last stands.
3:10 to Yuma (Grade C+) a small-time rancher agrees to hold a captured outlaw who's awaiting a train to go to court in Yuma. A battle of wills ensues as the outlaw tries to psych out the rancher.
11^th Hour, The (Grade C-) relentlessly downbeat saga of how mankind has “poisoned its own nest,” and the solution to delay the coming catastrophe, is to emasculate the American economy, and go back to living in caves and trees.
Antarctica (Grade A) (IMAX) This large format film explores the last great wilderness on earth. It takes you to the coldest, driest, windiest continent, Antarctica. The film explores the life in Antarctica, both for the animals that live their and the scientist that work there.
Amazing Grace (Grade A-) William Wilberforce maneuvers his way through Parliament in 19th century England, endeavoring to end the British transatlantic slave trade.
American Gangster (Grade A) the story of legendary Harlem drug lord, Frank Lucas, whose drug trafficking made him one of the biggest mobsters of his time.
Apocalypto (Grade B+) As the Aztec kingdom faces its decline, the rulers insist the key to prosperity is to build more temples and offer human sacrifices. Jaguar Paw, a young man captured for sacrifice, flees to avoid his fate.
Arctic Tale (Grade B+) takes viewers on an epic journey into the arctic wilderness in a documentary that explores what happens when the beautiful frozen world occupied by two majestic creatures gradually begins to melt away.
Balls of Fury (Grade C-) it's schlocky and tasteless but also good-natured and harmless, and you get 90 minutes of freewheeling, switch-off-your-brain drivel.
Beauty and the Beast, a Latter Day Tale (Grade C+) the story that ensues is an LDS version of love, trust and the importance of family and commitment.
Because I said so (Grade C-) a relentlessly exhaustive, simple-minded, unoriginal and inconsequential film that conjures up an unfunny and unconvincing lovelorn laugher where there’s no credible foundation for the characters or the goofy-minded shenanigans that dictate the movie’s stilted momentum.
Becoming Jane (Grade A) a biographical portrait of novelist Jane Austen and her romance with a young Irishman. in 1795 England.
Blades of Glory (Grade C-) a demonstration of film mediocrity. An attempt at entertainment and nothing more. Mildly humorous if you have a crude or low brow sense of humor.
Bourne Ultimatum, The (Grade A-) Jason Bourne tracks clues to his identity across Morocco and Europe while dodging assassins.
Brave One, The (Grade B-) a New York City radio talk show hostess becomes a one-woman vigilante squad after her boyfriend is murdered by street punks in which she vengefully goes out and kills thugs on the mean streets after dark.
Breach (Grade A- ) based on the true story, FBI upstart Eric O'Neill enters into a power game with his boss, Robert Hanssen, an agent who was ultimately convicted of selling secrets to the Soviet Union.
Brothers Solomon, The (Grade D+) socially inept and clueless about the ways of women, the brothers Solomon would like to grant their dad his dying wish--and provide him with a grandchild.
Catch and Release (Grade C-) a woman struggles to accept the death of her fiancé and the secrets he kept from her as she rebuilds her life.
Charlotte's Web (Grade B+) Wilbur the pig is scared of the end of the season, because he knows that come that time, he will end up on the dinner table. He hatches a plan with Charlotte, a spider that lives in his pen, to ensure that this will never happen.
Children of Men (Grade D+) after two hours in the theatre watching this relentlessly downbeat absurdity, you’ll crave a colonoscopy just to cheer yourself up a little!
Comebacks, The (Grade C-) a witless, uninspired spoof of the inspirational sports movies.
Dan in Real Life (Grade B-) a romantic comedy that follows a widower with three daughters, ages 10-17, who writes a parenting column for a local paper. While on a family reunion on the Jersey shore, he meets a woman he takes a liking to, but upon returning home, he finds out the woman is his brother's girlfriend. He then tries desperately not to fall in love with her while not breaking rules he has set up for himself and his daughters.
Death at a Funeral (Grade B) a dysfunctional British family gathers for the patriarch's funeral. Tensions rise, old conflicts are uncovered and, when a man arrives saying he's the dead man's gay lover and threatens blackmail, drastic measures are taken.
Dinosaurs Alive 3D (Grade A) (IMAX) the film follows today's top paleontologists into the field for a real-life scientific adventure and a journey of discovery.
Dinosaurs 3D: Giants of Patagonia (Grade A) (IMAX) takes an in-depth look at the world of some of the largest dinosaurs, Giganotosaurus and Argentinosaurus among them, with never-before-seen computer-generated footage. Filmed in collaboration with some renowned scientists, it challenges the dimensions of the giant screen.
Disturbia (Grade C-) Kale punched out his teacher; earning him three months house arrest. With little to do he begins watching the neighbors. On one side he meets the beautiful new girl next door, and on the other side is a man who may or may not be a serial killer.
Dreamgirls (Grade C+) a trio of black female soul singers cross over to the pop charts in the early 1960's. So far, so good, but then the film turns into two monotonous, and prosaic hours, that you’ll never get back.
Eastern Promises (Grade A) a tense and bloody Russian mob drama set in London.
Elizabeth:the Golden Age (Grade A-) an exploration of the relationship between Elizabeth I and the adventurer Sir Walter Raleigh.
Eragon (Grade B+) in his homeland of Alagaesia, a farm boy happens upon a dragon's egg -- a discovery that leads him on a predestined journey where he realized he's the one person who can defend his home against an evil king.
Evan Almighty (Grade B-) somewhat entertaining, the jokes were funny and the story was fun and there’s a moral to the story. In this film, it’s about protecting the environment and animals, respecting your fellow man, and spending quality time with your loved ones.
Evening (Grade B+) this film unites a stellar cast, where an aged woman begins recounting tales of her past to her daughters.
Eye of the Dolphin (Grade B-) a young girl discovers she can communicate with dolphins.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (Grade B-) this was a pretty generic superhero movie, where the four square off against the powerful Silver Surfer and the planet-eating Galactus.
Feast of Love (Grade A-) Friends explore themes of love, pain and happiness through telling their own life stories.
Fracture (Grade B) an attorney intent on climbing the career ladder toward success, finds an unlikely opponent in a manipulative criminal he's trying to prosecute.
Freedom Writers (Grade A) a young teacher inspires her class of at-risk students to learn tolerance, apply themselves, and pursue education beyond high school.
Game Plan (Grade B) an NFL quarterback living the bachelor lifestyle discovers that he has a 8-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
Good Luck Chuck (Grade D)
good luck finding anything funny about "Chuck.” This awful film mainly relies on a handful of dirty scenes for its entertainment value.
Georgia Rule (Grade B-) In what could be a warm, touching, caring, emotional movie, Georgia Rule is so artificial; it feels like more of a flow chart than a slice of life.
Gone Baby Gone (Grade B+) a story about two Boston area detectives investigating a little girl's kidnapping, which ultimately turns into a crisis both professionally and personally.
Gracie (Grade A-) set in late '70s New Jersey; the film is loosely based on the real-life experiences of actress Elizabeth Shue, who works to get a spot on the boys’ soccer team, despite the objections of her father and the coach's reluctance to play a girl.
Grindhouse (Grade F-) a terrible movie, where the gruesomeness of the effects is creepy and nauseating, and where the bad dialogue, and unbelievable plot points are witless.
Hairspray (Grade C+) watching John Travola pretend to be a 300 lb woman in a fat suit was not worth my $10, but watching the battle for justice, with those in favor of integration was priceless.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Grade C+) the fifth film in the series is very dark from the outset, and viewers must navigate all of the spells, sorcery and intense conflict inherent to the series.
Heartbreak Kid, The (Grade B-) another raunchy R-rated comedy from Ben Stiller and the Farrelly brothers about the beautiful, and seemingly perfect Lila, who reveals her true (and fairly awful) nature while on her Honeymoon.
History Boys, The (Grade B-) an unruly class of gifted and charming teenage boys pursue sex, sport, and higher education.
Hitman (Grade B) a gun-for-hire known only as Agent 47 is ensnared in a political conspiracy, which finds him pursued by both Interpol and the Russian military as he treks across Eastern Europe; hired by a group known as "The Agency" to kill targets for cash.
In the Valley of Elah (Grade B-) an excellent and complex, plot-driven whodunit, that plummets into the stupidest, most illogical anti-war drivel, this side of a Barack Obama rally.
Impressions de France (Grade A) this Disney Circle-Vision 180-degree film shown at Walt Disney World's EPCOT Center France pavilion showcases the breathtaking scenery and other visual delights of France. Many scenes are outdoors with aerial views of the countryside, rivers and much more.
In Search of the Secret Formula (Grade C+). you'll follow the lead character to distant lands on a quest to crack the code for the mysterious formula for CocaCola. But be prepared, you may be in for a "bumpy" ride!
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (Grade C+) two straight, single Brooklyn firefighters pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic partner benefits.
Into the Wild (Grade A-) the story of Christopher McCandless, a young man who deliberately went missing after graduating from Emory University in 1990, crisscrossing the country, dying emaciated and alone at 24 after living for nearly four months in a remote region of Alaska.
Kingdom, The (Grade B+) in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, a United States housing compound is attacked by terrorists. The FBI is allowed to send their agents in to investigate, think CSI: Riyadh.
Knocked Up (Grade B-) a movie in which a pot smoking, beer drinking, unemployed slacker hooks up with a gorgeous woman and not only experiences a drunken one night stand, but also manages to have her fall in love with him and bear his child.
Ladron que Roba a Ladron (Grade B+) is a heist movie in the classic Hollywood tradition, which follows two crack thieves who rob the biggest thief they know.
Lars and the Real Girl (Grade C+) a delusional young man strikes up an unconventional relationship with a doll he finds on the Internet. Fantastic acting job by Ryan Gosling.
Last King of Scotland, The (Grade A) Based on the events of the brutal Ugandan dictator Idi Amin's regime as seen by his personal physician during the 1970s. Forest Whitaker gives a puissant performance as Idi Amin.
Last Legion, The (Grade B-) as the Roman Empire crumbles, young Romulus Augustus flees the city and embarks on a perilous voyage to Britain to track down a legion of supporters.
Last Sin Eater, The (Grade B-) In seeking her own redemption from the one man of whom she is most afraid, 10-year-old Cadi Forbes discovers a secret sin haunting her community of Welsh immigrants in 1850s Appalachia.
Letters From Iwo Jima (Grade A) The story of the battle of Iwo Jima between the United States and Imperial Japan during World War II, as told from the perspective of the Japanese who fought it.
License to Wed (Grade C-) an unorthodox Minister requires prospective wedding vow takers to complete a “Marriage Preparation Course” before tying the knot in his church.
Little Children (Grade A-) centers on a group of young marrieds, whose lives intersect on the playgrounds, town pools and streets of their small community in surprising and potentially dangerous ways.
Live Free or Die Hard (Grade A) a fun non-stop action movie. I’m a big fan of the Die Hard franchise, and this is the only summer of 2007 blockbuster that didn’t disappoint me. It's mostly explosions, gunfights and John McClane's one-liners. With Die Hard, what you see is what you get. There's no subtlety here.
Lonely Hearts (Grade B) Homicide detectives track Martha Beck and Raymond Martinez Fernandez, a murderous pair known as the "Lonely Hearts Killers" who lure their victims through the personals.
Lust, Caution (Grade B) set in World War II-era Shanghai that details the political intrigue surrounding a powerful political figure named Mr.Yee in Japanese-occupied Shanghai.
Meet the Robinsons (Grade C+) Lewis is a brilliant inventor who meets a mysterious stranger named Wilbur Robinson, whisking Lewis away in a time machine, together they team up to track down Bowler Hat Guy in a showdown that ends with an unexpected twist of fate.
Michael Clayton (Grade B-) a legal drama, which focuses on just a few days in the complicated life of its title character, manages to deliver a slow paced, tedious overly simplistic message (corporations can be bad).
Miss Potter (Grade A) The story of Beatrix Potter, the author of the beloved and best-selling children's book, "The Tale of Peter Rabbit", and her struggle for love, happiness and success.
Mr. Woodcock (Grade C+) John Farley is a best selling self-help author who to his ultimate horror learns his loving mother Beverly is being romanced by his hated middle school gym teacher Mr. Woodcock.
Music and Lyrics (Grade B+) a washed up singer is given a couple days to compose a chart-topping hit for an aspiring teen sensation. Though he's never written lyrics in his life, he sparks with an offbeat younger woman with a flair for words.
Namesake, The (Grade B) American-born Gogol, the son of Indian immigrants, wants to fit in among his fellow New Yorkers, despite his family's unwillingness to let go of their traditional ways.
Nancy Drew(Grade B-) the famous girl detective solves a Hollywood mystery.
Nanny Dairies, The (Grade B) deftly skewers the manner in which America's over-privileged raises les petites - as if grooming them for a Best of Show competition. A poignant satire, it punctures the glamour of Manhattan's upper class to tackle head-on the truer state of backstairs Park Avenue.
Next (Grade C-) a Las Vegas magician who can see into the future is pursued by FBI agents seeking to use his abilities to prevent a nuclear terrorist attack
Night at the Museum (Grade A-) A newly recruited night security guard at the Museum of Natural History discovers that an ancient curse causes the animals and exhibits on display to come to life and wreak havoc.
No Reservations (Grade A-) some unexpected ingredients get thrown into Kate Armstrong's recipe for life when the master chef unexpectedly becomes the guardian of her nine-year-old niece Zoe, and a handsome-but-frustrating suos-chef joins her kitchen staff.
Oceans 13(Grade C-) the mechanics of the film are predictably and comically ornate, and the night I saw the film I'd left my PhD in ridiculous heist plots at home. So I was free to enjoy the ludicrous manner in which Ocean and his pals set the job in motion.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (Grade C+) everything you need to know about Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End can be summed up in one sentence. Everyone, and I do mean e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e, cheats, lies, steals, backstabs, fights, and holds meetings.
Polar Express 4D Experience, The (Grade A-) when a doubting young boy takes an extraordinary train ride to the North Pole, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery that shows him that the wonder of life never fades for those who believe.
Queen,The Grade A) an intimate behind the scenes glimpse at the interaction between HM Elizabeth II and Prime Minister Tony Blair after the death of Princess Diana. Extraordinary acting by the entire cast.
Ratatouille (Grade C+) a rat named Remy dreams of becoming a great chef despite his family‘s wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent–phobic profession.
Reflections of China (Grade A) (IMAX) the viewer may explore China as never before in this stirring Circle-Vision 360° film that puts you in the center of the action. Sweep from Beijing to Shanghai, from Inner Mongolia to the Forbidden City, from the distant lands of the Hunan province to the Great Wall, discovering all the brilliant facets of this Land of Many Faces.
Rendition (Grade C+) an anti-American film featuring more Hollywood treachery, with the depth of a bumper sticker only without the brevity.
Return With Honor (Grade B+) Rowe McDonald is a headstrong missionary who has life after his mission all figured out. When a fatal car crash interrupts his plans, he is given sixty days to return to life and finish his work.
Scoop (Grade B-) An American journalism student in London scoops a big story, and begins an affair with an aristocrat as the incident unfurls.
Sea Monsters 3D: A Prehistoric Adventure (Grade A) (IMAX) Stunning photo-realistic computer-generated animation transports audiences back to the Late Cretaceous, when a great inland ocean divided North America in two. The film follows a curious and adventurous dolichorynchops as she travels through life's stages, experiencing the world from her spot near the bottom of the food chain.
September Dawn (Grade F-) in this absurd one-sided cesspool of misinformation about the Mountain Meadows Massacre, the fact that an emigrant party passing through Southern Utah in 1857 during the Utah War, as an Army of Federal troops was marching toward Utah Territory, ignited the locals with overly boisterous provocation, deriding the Mormons, and their leaders, with threats to raise an army in California and return to destroy Utah is ignored, in favor of exploiting the tragic events for polemical purposes.
Shoot 'Em Up (Grade D+) a mysterious loner teams up with an unlikely ally to protect a newborn baby from a determined criminal who hunts them throughout the bowels of the city.
Shooter (Grade D-) a preposterous “action” film that adopts every cliché from 1970s conspiracy movies, that defies narrative logic, is implausible, lacks real characters and has more holes in it, than the 2004 Democratic Party Convention Platform.
Shrek the Third (Grade C-) I found the flick a little ... lacking. Not terrible, but just sort of limp, obvious and lethargic.
Simpsons Movie, The (Grade C+) the Simpsons Movie isn't anything special with its biting satire, and irreverent humor, because it’s pretty much just a long episode of the television show.
Smokin' Aces (Grade C-) on paper, this film has all the ingredients to be mildly entertaining; a volatile mix of eccentric characters, dark humor, and raw violence, twisted in a jigsaw of a plot. But as told on screen, it winds up as an exploitation film that's ultra violent and ultra senseless.
Spiderman 3 (Grade C-) in the final episode of a standard three-film arc comic book trilogy, all objections are answered, and all story developments are resolved.
Stardust (Grade A) in a countryside town bordering on a magical land, a young man makes a promise to his beloved that he'll retrieve a fallen star by venturing into the magical realm.
Sunshine (Grade C-) in this film, the sun will die and lose its heat 50 years later. The only hope for mankind is to send a team of 8 in a spaceship to reignite part of the sun.
Superbad (Grade D-) no pun intended, but here is a "Super Bad" picture. The movie revolves around two high school seniors who set out to score alcohol for a party.
Sweet Land (Grade B+) set in 1920, Inge travels from Germany to rural Minnesota to meet the man destined to be her husband. Bureaucracy and social morality issues cause major complications.
Ultimate Gift, The (Grade B) a witty, explication of how--as today's financial planners like to say--you can leave your legacy' successfully, but never manages to build up much mystery, suspense, tension, or narrative steam.
Waitress (Grade A) is a gem of an indie flick; and though the plot may seem uninteresting, the film is absolutely endearing about a waitress who finds herself pregnant and lonely, and unexpectedly turns to her handsome doctor for companionship.
We Are Marshall (Grade B+) When a plane crash claims the lives of members of the Marshall University football team and some of its fans, the team's new coach and his surviving players try to keep the football program alive.
We Own the Night (Grade B) in the 1980s, nightclubs are booming, drugs are everywhere and cocaine is at the heart of it all. Cops fight desperately to combat this surge of drugs but are losing.
Wild Hogs (Grade B-) a better than expected comedy-adventure about a group of middle-aged friends who decide to rev up their routine suburban lives with a freewheeling motorcycle trip.
Work and the Glory III: A House Divided, The (Grade B-) based on the best-selling series of nine novels about the early history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Zodiac (Grade B+) based on real events, about a serial killer who operated in Northern California for ten months in the late 1960s. He coined his name in a series of taunting letters he sent to the press until 1974. His letters included four cryptograms, three of which have yet to be solved.
Zwartboek (Grade B+) set during the end of WWII, Black Book is the story of a Dutch Jewish girl who narrowly survives the war in Holland...