2006 Movie Reviews

So why do we love to go to the movies? What is it about sitting in a darkened auditorium, among a swarm of rude thoughtless jerks, noisy people, crying babies, cell phones ringing, pigs masticating on snack foods, watching other people's stories on the screen, that so inspires us? Moves us?

Going to the movies is unlike any other form of art. Sure, much of what comes out of Hollywood's absurd system is hardly “art”, but sometimes you come across a film that

is a critically acclaimed, a significant "must-see" film.

The following is a series of capsule reviews of movies that I have seen in the Cineplex theaters of Las Vegas, Nevada, San Francisco, California, Lehi, Utah, American Fork, Utah, Cedar City, Utah, St. George, Utah, Honolulu, Hawaii, Kapolei, Hawaii, Kona, Hawaii, Salt Lake City, Utah, Miami, Florida, and Washington, D.C., in 2006.

The synopsis comments are taken from http://www.rottentomatoes.com/, and http://www.imdb.com/. Most of the sardonic observations are mine, as are the letter grades.

A Good Year (Grade B+) A British investment broker inherits a vineyard in Province, from his late uncle. He discovers a new laid-back lifestyle as he tries to renovate the estate to be sold.
A Prairie Home Companion (Grade A) A look at what goes on backstage during the last broadcast of America's most celebrated radio show, where singing cowboys Dusty and Lefty, a country music siren, and a host of others hold court.
Accepted (Grade B-) when a high school burnout discovers he's been rejected from every college he's applied to, he creates a fake university in order to fool his overzealous parents.
Akeelah and the Bee (Grade A) coffee make Starbucks, teams up with Lionsgate Studios to produce an inspiring and heart-warming story of a young girl from South Los Angeles who makes it to the National Spelling Bee.
American Dreamz (Grade D-) A stupid film, and a total waste of time.
An Inconvenient Truth (Grade B+) a documentary on Al Gore's campaign to make the issue of global warming a recognized problem worldwide, with absurd solutions offered.
Annapolis (Grade C) set against the backdrop of boxing at the Naval Academy, centers on a young man from the wrong side of the tracks whose dream of attending Annapolis becomes a reality.
Babel (Grade A-) is one of those interlocking plots where seemingly unrelated people become intertwined as the narrative unfolds. Babel focuses on three stories, set in Morocco, Japan and Mexico.
Barnyard (Grade C+) An often amusing but also an aimless and forgettable animated comedy that is noteworthy mostly for its random musical numbers and surprising amounts of violence.
Black Dahlia, The (Grade C) two 1940s L.A. cops head up the hunt for the killer of starlet Elizabeth Short.
Bobby (Grade B) The story of the assassination of U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy, on June 6th, 1968, which centers around 22 people who were at the Ambassador Hotel where he was killed.
Borat (Grade F) I don’t know which bothered me most, the fact that venom like Borat is even made, or the fact that our country is filled with so many addle-pate imbeciles who find this kind of tommyrot even remotely funny.
Boynton Beach Club (Grade B+) a comedy about life, loss and love after 60, centering on a group of seniors who gather through a grief support group in South Florida and featuring an ensemble cast.
Breakup, The (Grade C-) a romantic comedy completely devoid of any romance, or even comedy for that matter.
Brokeback Mountain(Grade A) a story about a forbidden and secretive relationship between two cowboys and their lives over the years
Capote (Grade A) Philip Seymour Hoffman is astounding in his portrayal of Truman Capote during his research for his book In Cold Blood.
Casino Royale (Grade A) James Bond's first mission, where he must stop a banker from winning a casino tournament and using the prize money to fund terrorist activities.
Chicken Little (Grade C-) after ruining his reputation with the town, a courageous chicken must come to the rescue of his fellow citizens when aliens start an invasion.
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Grade A) Four kids travel through a wardrobe to the land of Narnia and learn of their destiny to free it with the guidance of a lion messiah.
Church Ball (Grade D-) tasteless slapstick babble with execrable sight gags, absurd stereotyping, trite dialogue, stale jokes, and banal plot.
Confetti (Grade C+) a mockumentary that follows three couples as they battle it out to win the coveted title of 'Most Original Wedding of the Year'.
Coral Reef Adventure (Grade A) (IMAX Like any IMAX movie, Coral Reef Adventure is so vivid, vast, and colorful that you can't help but be astonished by its visual splendor.
Crank (Grade B) Professional assassin Chev Chelios learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.
Departed, The (Grade A) This is the most vibrant, exciting and invigorating movie of the year in a fast-paced, visually slick, psychologically fascinating Boston-set cops
Déjà Vu (Grade C-) wildly fanciful; highly unrealistic, where an ATF agent goes back in time to save a woman from being killed and ends up falling in love with her.
DaVinci Code, The (Grade B-) A murder inside the Louvre and clues in Da Vinci paintings lead to the discovery of a religious mystery protected by a secret society for two thousand years -- which could shake the foundations of Christianity.
Down in the Valley (Grade C-) Set in the present-day San Fernando Valley, the project revolves around a delusional man who believes he's a cowboy and the relationship that he starts with a rebellious young woman.
Deck the Halls (Grade C-) a predictable, mean-spirited, slapstick-heavy Christmas movie. It's filled with sexual innuendoes, bad behavior, and grown-ups acting like kids (worse than kids, actually). But I didn’t care, because the cast was great!
Devil Wears Prada, The (Grade C-) a naive young woman comes to New York and scores a job as the assistant to one of the city's biggest magazine editors, the ruthless and cynical Miranda Priestly.
Eight Below (Grade B) Brutal cold forces two Antarctic explorers to leave their team of sled dogs behind as they fend for their survival.
Employee of the Month (Grade D+) is a film that focuses on events that happen at a Costco-like store, where two co-workers, Zack and Vince, compete for the affection of the new cashier, Amy.
End of the Spear (Grade B+) is the story of Mincayani, a Waorani tribesman from the jungles of Ecuador.
Failure to Launch (Grade C+) a thirty something slacker suspects his parents of setting him up with his dream girl so he'll finally vacate their home.
Fast Food Nation (Grade B+) After you see this disturbing film, you’ll likely never enjoy consuming a “Big Mac,” ever again!
Firewall (Grade B) a security specialist is forced into robbing the bank that he's protecting, as a bid to pay off his family's ransom.
Flags of Our Fathers (Grade A) Compelling story about the Marines who planted the flag on Japanese held Iwo Jima Island during World War II.
Flicka (Grade C+) There are some nice moments and beautiful scenery, but the film is often slow and the dialogue is overwrought.
For Your Consideration (Grade B) a satire of Hollywood and actor insecurities.
Flyboys (Grade B+) The adventures of the Lafayette Escadrille, young Americans who volunteered for the French military before the U.S. entered World War I, and became the country's first fighter pilots.
Fountain, The (Grade C-) about one man’s struggle to come to terms with the death of a loved one, but presented in a “dull and weird” manner.
Good Night, and Good Luck (Grade C-) it’s the patriotism of the late Wisconsin Sen. Joseph McCarthy versus the treason of the late CBS News hack Edward R. Murrow, who just happens to be Hollywood leftist George Clooney’s all-time, favorite Communist media hero. Although Sen Joseph McCarthy's activities did not result in any convictions or criminal prosecutions for espionage, intercepted Soviet communications from the now-declassified VENONA project, as well as the opening of Soviet Archives, indicate that most of the individuals he pursued were in fact Soviet spies or Communist sympathizers.
Glory Road (Grade B+) In 1966, Texas Western coach Don Haskins led the first all-black starting line-up for a college basketball team to the NCAA national championship.
Gridiron Gang (Grade B+) a counselor at a juvenile detention facility, decides to turn the young inmates in his charge into a football team to give them a sense of self-respect and social responsibility. He faces opposition from his skeptical bosses and high school coaches who do not want their players facing criminals on the field.
Guardian, The (Grade B+) In an effort to find his place in life, a troubled young man enlists in the Coast Guard, where he's taken in by a renowned rescue swimmer who's hardened by the loss of his team from an accident years back. One of my nephews is a Coast Guard rescue swimmer, so this movie was a “big deal” to me.
Holiday, The (Grade B) Two women troubled with guy-problems swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love.
Hollywoodland (Grade B-) A detective examines the mysterious death of George Reeves, TV's Superman.
Illusionist, The (Grade B+) In turn-of-the-century Vienna, a magician uses his abilities to secure the love of a woman far above his social standing.
Inside Man, The (Grade B+) A cop has to talk down a bank robber after the criminal's perfect heist spirals into a hostage situation.
Invincible (Grade B+) the true story of Vince Papale, a decent but down on his luck thirty year old bartender/substitute teacher from Philadelphia, who after prodding from his friends, joins the NFL football Eagles.
John Tucker Must Die (Grade C+) Three ex-girlfriends of a serial cheater set up their former lover to fall for the new girl in town so they can watch him get his heart broken.
Journey Into Amazing Caves (Grade A) (IMAX) is a breathtaking, eye-popping nature documentary. The movie joins two seasoned explorers as they travel into diverse caves all over the world.
Just My Luck (Grade C-) the premise is that a super-lucky woman and a very unlucky man meet at a masquerade ball, share a kiss, and in so doing reverse their fortunes. Now miserably unlucky, the woman has to find the mysterious stranger she kissed, kiss him again, and switch everything back again.
Keeping Up With The Steins (Grade C-) the story of a 13-year-old boy who uses his upcoming bar mitzvah to reconcile the strained relationship between his father and grandfather.
Last Kiss, The (Grade C-) Anxieties threaten the future of a domesticated couple.
Lake House (Grade D-) The plot of The Lake House is a little too convoluted, and the film fails to pull off the sweeping romance it aims for.
Last Holiday (Grade D-) after she's diagnosed with a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to take a European vacation.
Little Miss Sunshine (Grade A-) a family determined to get their young daughter into the finals of a beauty pageant take a cross-country trip in their VW bus.
Lost City,The (Grade D+) about a family caught up in the Cuban revolution.
Lucky Number Slevin (Grade A) a case of mistaken identity lands Slevin into the middle of a war being plotted by two of the city's most rival crime bosses: The Rabbi and The Boss. Slevin is under constant surveillance by relentless Detective Brikowski as well as the infamous assassin Goodkat and finds himself having to hatch his own ingenious plot to get them before they get him.
Marie Antoinette (Grade B-) covers the life of the last Queen of France, from her marriage to Louis XVI at the age of 15 to her departure from Versailles at the start of the French Revolution.
Marine, The (Grade D+) Nonstop, blood, gore, explosions, and car chases, and murder, as a leatherneck tracks his kidnapped wife.
Matador, The (Grade C) a globetrotting hitman and a crestfallen businessman meet in a hotel bar in Mexico City in an encounter that draws them together in a way neither expected.
Material Girls (Grade C+) Two wealthy sisters, both heiresses to their family's cosmetics fortune, are given a wake-up call when a scandal and ensuing investigation strip them of their wealth.
Match Point (Grade B) At a turning point in his life, a former tennis pro falls for a femme-fatal type who happens to be dating his friend and soon-to-be brother-in-law.
Memoirs of a Geisha (Grade B) Nitta Sayuri reveals how she transcended her fishing-village roots and became one of Japan's most celebrated geisha.
Mission Impossible III (Grade B+) IMF leader Ethan Hunt comes face to face with a dangerous and sadistic arms dealer while trying to keep his identity secret in order to protect his girlfriend.
Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont (Grade A-) All but abandoned by her family in a London retirement hotel, an elderly woman strikes up a curious friendship with a young writer.
Munich (Grade B-) based on the true story of the Black September aftermath, about the five men chosen to eliminate the ones responsible for that fateful day.
Mystic India: A Child's Incredible Journey of Inspiration (Grade A) (IMAX) a film dedicated to the universally inspiring message of unity in diversity.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (Grade B-) When a regular guy dumps a superhero because of her neediness, she uses her powers to make his life a living hell.
Nativity Story, The (Grade B+) the film is faithful to the story as told in the Bible.
New World, The (Grade B-) a drama about explorer John Smith and the clash between Native Americans and English settlers in the 17th century.
Over the Hedge (Grade C) a scheming raccoon fools a mismatched family of forest creatures into helping him repay a debt of food, by invading the new suburban sprawl that popped up while they were hibernating...and learns a lesson about family himself.
Peaceful Warrior (Grade C-) a chance encounter with a stranger changes the life of a college gymnast. The film is a weird, vaguely disquieting and always-uninteresting dose of self-help silliness that is deeply disquieting and inadvertently farcical.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (Grade A) a swashbuckling high-seas tale.
Prestige, The (Grade B) Full of twists and turns, The Prestige is a dazzling period piece that never stops challenging the audience.
Producers, The (Grade C) Despite the rich source material, The Producers has a stale, stagy feel more suited to the theater than the big screen.
Proposition, The (Grade B-) Nasty, brutish, filthy and violent, but also lyrical, beautiful and achingly sad. This is the mythological western at its most potent and atmospheric.
Pursuit of Excellence (Grade B+) an outstanding film on Air Force Academy life.
Pursuit of Happyness, The (Grade B+) A struggling salesman takes custody of his son as he's poised to begin a life-changing professional endeavor.
Queen,The (Grade A) an intimate behind the scenes glimpse at the interaction between HM Elizabeth II and Prime Minister Tony Blair after the death of Princess Diana. Extraordinary acting by the entire cast.
Reflections of China (Grade A) (IMAX) the viewer may explore China as never before in this stirring Circle-Vision 360° film that puts you in the center of the action. Sweep from Beijing to Shanghai, from Inner Mongolia to the Forbidden City, from the distant lands of the Hunan province to the Great Wall, discovering all the brilliant facets of this Land of Many Faces.
Rumor Has it… (Grade C+) Jennifer Aniston plays a woman who learns that her family was the inspiration for the book and film "The Graduate" -- and that she just might be the offspring of the well-documented event.
RV (Grade B) What a pleasant surprise! About a dysfunctional family who rent an RV for a road trip to the Colorado Rockies.
School for Scoundrels (Grade B-) A young guy short on luck, enrolls in a class to build confidence to help win over the girl of his dreams, which becomes complicated when his teacher has the same agenda.
Sentinel, The (Grade C+) A disgraced special agent to the White House endeavors to foil a conspiracy to assassinate the U.S. President.
She’s the Man (Grade C+) this is a perfectly pleasant, entertaining and often-witty gambol with engaging performances.
Sixteen (16) Blocks (Grade B+) an aging cop is assigned the ordinary task of escorting a fast-talking witness from police custody to a courthouse. There are however forces at work trying to stop prevent them from making it.
Stranger Than Fiction (Grade C+) an IRS auditor suddenly finds himself the subject of narration only he can hear: narration that begins to affect his entire life, from his work, to his love-interest, to his death.
Stick it (Grade B) After a run-in with the law, Haley Graham is forced to return to the world from which she fled some years ago. Enrolled in an elite gymnastics program run by the legendary Burt Vickerman, Haley's rebellious attitude gives way to something that just might be called team spirit.
Superman Returns (Grade A) After a long visit to the lost remains of the planet Krypton, the Man of Steel returns to earth to become the peoples savior once again and reclaim the love of Lois Lane.
Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, The (Grade A-) Ranch hand Pete Perkins looks to fulfill the promise to his recently deceased best friend by burying him in his hometown in Mexico.
Transamerica (Grade B+) a pre-operative male-to-female transsexual takes an unexpected journey when she learns that she fathered a son, now a teenage runaway hustling on the streets of New York.
Thank you for Smoking (Grade B+) Satirical comedy follows the machinations of Big Tobacco's chief spokesman, who spins on behalf of cigarettes while trying to remain a role model for his twelve-year-old son.
V for Vendetta (Grade D-) Left-Wing hysteria, duplicity, puerile drivel, silliness, and paranoia at its stupidest.
Water (Grade A) Water belongs to that rare category of films that have the power to redefine the parameters of cinema, to realign the function and purpose of the medium, and to restructure the way we, the audience, look at the motion picture experience.
Wired to Win: Surviving the Tour de France (Grade A) (IMAX) this documentary takes a look at the complexities of the human brain, in particular, how the brain handles multiple inputs in times of stress.
World Trade Center (Grade B) inspired by the true story of Port Authority police officers John McLoughlin and Will Jimeno, who become trapped under the rubble of the World Trade Center on 9-11-01.
World’s Fastest Indian, The (Grade B+) the life story of New Zealander Burt Munro, who spent years building a 1920 Indian motorcycle -- a bike which helped him set the land-speed world record at Utah's Bonneville Salt Flats in 1967.
You, Me and Dupree (Grade C-) a best man stays on as a houseguest with the newlyweds, much to the couple's annoyance.