2004 Movie Reviews

Movies: Entertainment is a very subjective experience! I go to movies because I want to be "entertained." I want to laugh, cry, vicariously experience a great ride, be adventurous, see spectacular things, get "jolted," have positive outcomes affirmed, see drama that challenges me and makes me think about my world, be inspired... and, in short, have some experience that temporarily displaces me from everyday life and changes my mood.

The following is a series of capsule reviews of movies that I have seen in the megaplex theaters of Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, Washington, D.C., St. George, Atlanta, Houston, Honolulu, Lahaina, Kahului, Anaheim, Brea, Fullerton, and La Verne, in 2004.

The synopsis comments are taken from http://www.rottentomatoes.com/. Most of the sardonic observations are mine, as are the letter grades.

1. 50 First Dates (Grade B) even though it's populated with juvenile antics, 50 First Dates is still a great date movie, allowing the magnetic combo of Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler to once again turn on their particular comedic magic.
2. 13 Going on 30 (Grade C+) Jennifer Garner makes the most of her first starring role and discovers that love -- and navigating adult life -- really is a battlefield in this charming romantic fantasy.
3. A Cinderella Story (Grade C+) is a film with appeal to adolescent girls who either want to be Hilary Duff or want to slobber over Chad Michael Murray, in a wholesome story appropriate for the whole family,
4. A Day Without a Mexican ( Grade D+) A terrific premise is mangled to a pulp, then beaten to death in this forced mockumentary.
5. Adrenaline Rush: The Science of Risk (Grade A) (IMAX) takes a look at the world of skydiving and base jumping – parachuting from a building, a bridge or a cliff; while providing breathtaking views of skydiving over the Florida Keys, the Mojave Desert and in the magnificent Fjords of Norway.
6. After the Sunset (Grade B) an action comedy which begins where most heist movies end – with a pair of master thieves escaping to a tropical paradise to enjoy the spoils of their labor.
7. Against the Ropes (Grade C+) a sports "biopic" with a feminine twist, Against the Ropes based on the life of Jackie Kallen, takes liberties with the story of boxing's most successful female manager.
8. Along Came Polly (Grade D+) a very disappointing film that features two actors with zero on-screen chemistry, in a series of barely connected stupid skits, dominated by absurdly low-minded site gags.
9. Anchorman, The (Grade F) an extremely unpleasant, distasteful, and appalling series of disconnected skits in search of a story. Movie making at its worst!
10. Around the World in 80 Days (Grade C+) suffices as a distracting piece of summer fluff, sure to delight most of the family as well as fans of Jackie Chan.
11. Aviator, The (Grade A-) presents a three-hour look at the life and times of Howard Hughes.

12. Before Sunset (Grade A) Filled with engaging dialogue, Before Sunset is a witty, poignant romance, with natural chemistry between the actors.

13. Being Julia (Grade B+) set in the late 1930s, this is a fine costume comedy-drama about the sorrows and joys of art.

14. Best Two Years, The (Grade B+) The latest independent film aimed at Latter-day Saint audiences tells the story of four missionaries who share an apartment in Amsterdam, Holland. The film isn't about how to convert someone. It's about converting yourself, about figuring out what you're doing with your life and going with it. It's a thoughtful and entertaining film.

15. Big Bounce, The (Grade D+) lush Hawaiian locales, and a cast of Hollywood favorites, cannot save this truly awful movie. The story makes no sense. The scenes are disconnected; the film is incomplete, and poorly edited.
16. Big Fish (Grade B+) is unfailingly charming and flat-out INTERESTING: You keep watching not just because of the many likable characters, but because you're anxious to know what will happen next, both in the flashbacks and in the present-day drama of the father/son reconciliation.
17. Bourne Supremacy, The (Grade B+) Matt Damon is an amnesiac ex-CIA killer Jason Bourne, in a terse, tight, impressively smart popcorn movie.
18. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (Grade D+) if you saw the first Bridget Jones movie, then you know that this sequel is an insult to your intelligence.
19. Butterfly Effect, The (Grade C-) somewhat disturbing material — murder, suicide, insanity, kiddie porn, animal abuse and more — mixes uncomfortably with the film's time-travel absurdity.
20. Calendar Girls (Grade B+) this warm and very funny film, based on a true story, is likable and charming, but never naughty.
21. Chasing Liberty (Grade C-) an innocuous, predictable and lightweight serving of fluff, filmed in fascinating European locations, with a charming ensemble cast.
22. Cheaper by the Dozen (Grade C-) in this family of twelve children, much chaos ensues, but little humor.
23. Christmas With the Kranks (Grade C-) a mirthless comedy as fresh as last year's fruit cake.
24. Collateral (Grade B+) an action drama about a hit man who inadvertently involves a hapless cab driver in his one-night killing spree.
25. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (Grade C-) a charming piece of fluff, featuring a string of unrelated scenes about the high-school musical, and a band's final concert.
26. Cooler, The (Grade B+) the unluckiest guy in Las Vegas is used by the mob to stop high roller's luck, because his unlucky aura is contagious to everyone else around him.
27. Connie & Carla (Grade B+) A "Some Like It Hot" for the new millennium. Connie and Carla are aspiring singer/dancers who can't get a break -- until they accidentally witness their boss getting whacked by the mob. On the lam, they adopt a unique disguise: headliners at a West Hollywood drag club.
28. Corporation, The (Grade B) A stinging documentary critique of the antisocial tendencies of the dominant institution of modern times.
29. Day After Tomorrow (Grade C+) with its absurd science, heavy handed political demagoguery, The Day After Tomorrow is campy, cliché-ridden and thoroughly enjoyable, all the way to its utterly preposterous ending.
30. De-Lovely (Grade C-) is the biography of Cole Porter, featuring a lead actor in a musical who can’t carry a tune. The film is relentlessly dark, and downbeat.
31. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (Grade C-) Havana, Cuba, circa 1958--where the temperatures are hot and the salsa dancers even hotter--provides the perfect setting for another cornball Dirty Dancing movie.
32. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (Grade B+) aims low - and happily hits its target.
33. Ella Enchanted (Grade B+) this contemporary fairy tale is enchanting, funny and fun, with an occasional satirical jab thrown in for good measure. The film is inventive and spectacular enough to fully charm the younger-than-14 set.
34. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Grade C+) Movie critics raved about this film, but they must have missed the point because there is little charm between the lead characters, and almost no intimacy; just a series of nerve-racking conversational collisions mixed in with pseudo sci-fi twaddle.
35. Everest (Grade A) (IMAX) takes the audience across creaking icefalls and gaping chasms, up dangerous, towering cliffs, through a harrowing rescue, and into the danger zone of oxygen-thin altitude.
36. Elf (Grade B+) Buddy, a human raised by elves in the North Pole journeys to Manhattan in search of his biological father.
37. Fighter Pilot: Operation Red Flag (Grade A) (IMAX) highlighted by exhilarating sequences of simulated aerial combat. The large-screen format puts viewers in the cockpits of several high-tech warbirds during Red Flag, a harrowing combat-training exercise involving elite squadrons from such nations as the U.S., Britain, Canada and Israel.
38. Finding Neverland ( Grade B+) tells the story of playwright J.M Barrie and his journey in writing one of the all-time classic children's tales-- Peter Pan.
39. First Daughter (Grade C+) the film is a pleasant romp and offers a look into the lives of the president and his family.
40. Flight of the Phoenix, The (Grade C+) a routine remake of a superior film from an earlier era always prompts the question: Why bother?
41. Girl Next Store, The (Grade C-) is an awful premise for a romantic comedy aimed at a teenage audience. Here the girl next store is a porn star that helps her neighbor get into the porn business, and into situations that are unwarranted, unhealthy, and irrational.
42. Hidalgo (Grade B) an entertaining “Horse Opera” that's equal parts "Indiana Jones" and "The Last Samurai," with a little bit of Seabiscuit grafted on to the third act.
43. In America (Grade A) is simple and unpretentious, but its humanity and message of inclusiveness is evoked with heart-warming profundity.
44. Jersey Girl (Grade C+) I appreciated the director’s willingness to be sentimental about fatherhood, nice values, but the film is hindered with pointless and tiresome potty mouth episodes.
45. King Arthur (Grade C+) illusory adventure, monotonous action and historical grandeur come together in this unique look at the origins of the legend of King Arthur.
46. LadyKillers, The (Grade F) this flawed, Southern-fried remake of a 1955 British classic is uninvolving and tedious.
47. Latter Days (Grade C+) a homosexual romantic comedy along the lines of When Harry Met Harry or Sleepless in Pocatello, that takes on a scornful tone which moves well beyond the realm of respectful discussion. Instead the film’s focus is the open denigration of a religious creed, while moving on to express cynicism about family life.
48. Laws of Attraction (Grade C+) a relaxed, contemporary and self-confident rivalry in the Tracy and Hepburn mold. It’s an old fashioned, good feeling romantic comedy you are going to like.
49. LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (Grade B+) the film adaptation of the popular books is winning raves for its set design and a wry comic charm that mitigates some morbid images.
50. Little Black Book (Grade C +) is an imaginative romantic comedy with a thoroughly modern storyline that challenges the genre's run-of-the-mill formula.
51. Love Actually (Grade B+) a feel good movie featuring nine interlocking and overlapping love stories, emotionally manipulative, but pleasantly so. Nice sentiment in places, with a likeable cast, but lots of distasteful bathroom humor.
52. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Grade A) Winner 2003Academy Award for Best Picture! The final installment of Peter Jackson's epic based on J. R. R. Tolkien's classic novel. Plenty of big battles, lots of orcs, a tedious dialogue of melodramatic gibberish & nonsense, and a 3 hour and 20 minute running time! But the stunning locations and fantastic sets make this film special.
53. Man On Fire (Grade B-) a visually striking film about a former assassin-turned-bodyguard who gets revenge on the bad guys who kidnap his young charge.
54. Maria Full of Grace (Grade A) Maria is desperate to escape her existence as a manual worker in rural Colombia. Having quit her job, she discovers that she is pregnant and plans to move to Bogotá to become a maid. But she is swayed by a drug lord with big money in return for a trip to New York as a drug courier.
55. Mean Girls (Grade B-) Raised in African bush country by her zoologist parents, Cady Heron thinks she knows about "survival of the fittest." But the law of the jungle takes on a whole new meaning when the 15-year-old enters high school and falls for the ex-boyfriend of the school’s most popular girl.
56. Meet the Fockers (Grade C-) in the tradition of recent Hollywood sequels, this one replays the old gags (about 50 of them dealing with the name "Focker"), gooses up the pace and lowers the level of the humor -- way lower.
57. Miracle (Grade B+) The story of the 1980 US Ice Hockey team's underdog victory against a Soviet juggernaut in the Olympic Games, one of the sports' all-time greatest upsets.
58. Mr 3000 (Grade B-) an engaging, if erratic, comedy.
59. Napoleon Dynamite (Grade C-) This film is a mean-spirited, and condescending look at dimwits and misfits in a tiny Idaho hamlet. If you need to look down on others to feel better about yourself, 'Napoleon Dynamite' is the movie for you.
60. Nascar 3D (Grade A) (IMAX) Part infomercial, part historical documentary, all in 3-D, is best seen as a spectacle, something that exists for its format rather than its content.
61. National Treasure (Grade B) provides two hours of easy escapism, several good laughs and a few "how are they going to get out of this one?" thrills.
62. New York Minute (Grade C+) Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen star in New York Minute--a big-screen feature with a direct-to-video plot.
63. Notebook, The (Grade B+) Having been married to the same woman for nearly 40 years gives me a soft spot for a film about falling in love and looking back on it 50 years later.
64. Ocean Wonderland 3D (Grade A) (IMAX) the 48-minute film inspects beautiful, exotic seascapes from Australia's Great Barrier Reefs to the Bahamas and reinforces how much we owe the exquisite reefs and how much we would lose should they be destroyed.
65. Ocean’s Twelve (Grade D+) falls short in many ways, not the least of which is a ridiculously moronic plot that defies reason at every turn.
66. On Board the Morgan: America's Last Wooden Whaler ( Grade B-) A film tour of the storied whaling vessel, the "Morgan" whose final resting place is Mystic Seaport, Connecticut.
67. Open Water ( Grade B) Shot on weekends and holidays, with a hand held digital video camera for $140,000, Open Water brilliantly taps into that ultimate fear of what lurks down below.
68. Polar Express, The (Grade B+) an entertaining and innovative animated film.
69. Pride & Prejudice: A Latter-day Comedy (Grade B-) clever adaptation of the beloved Jane Austen story, from 19th-century marriage-minded women to present-day culture, and modern-day Brigham Young University co-eds.
70. Prince & Me, The (Grade B-) Okay, Okay, it won’t win any Oscars, and it was trashed by the critics, but the Prince & Me delivers the most important thing we ask of a romantic comedy, a charming couple played by charming actors.
71. Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement (Grade C+) delivers the same bland adolescent fluff and feel-good family values its predecessor provided, as the princess heads off to Genovia to assume her royal responsibilities. No high drama here, folks, but thankfully it doesn't have one "mean girl" in it.
72. P.S. (Grade B-) is a romantic fable about getting a second chance at first love. Torrid and tender, serious and sexy, P.S. features a career performance from Laura Linney.
73. Raise Your Voice (Grade C+) is a film about a talented singer who, despite her dad’s strong objections and a family tragedy, attends a summer music program where her talent grows and she falls in love.
74. Raising Helen (Grade B-) is one of this year’s better romantic comedies. It is gently witty, with tender moments, and nice values; but it’s hard to overlook the fact that you've seen it all before, e.g.,” Big Daddy," "Uptown Girls," "Family Man" and countless others.
75. Ray (Grade A-) never liked the man; never liked his music, but I sure liked his biopic. After the movie, I told my wife that Jamie Foxx’s portrait of Ray Charles, the man, the myth, and the legend is nothing short of remarkable.
76. Saints and Soldiers (Grade A) "Well mounted, frequently gripping WWII tale of GIs surviving behind German lines during the Battle of the Bulge."
77. Saved! (Grade C+) I can respect a movie that mocks things I believe in if it does it well, but not if it has a milksop obstruction of nonsense before it's finished.
78. Secret Window (Grade B) Johnny Depp stars as a fiction writer who finds himself alone in his forest cabin with a nasty case of writers' block and an even nastier hairdo.
79. Sharks 3D (Grade A) (IMAX) is a documentary with a pointless conservation message seeking to rehabilitate the shark's public image and help stop the declining shark populations throughout the world. The film never explains, why?
80. Shark Tale (Grade D+) an extraordinarily irritating, aesthetically unappealing and poorly written movie.
81. Shrek 2 (Grade B-) the sequel to the 2001 computer-animated hit is just as fast, funny and smart as fans were hoping it would be.
82. Sideways (Grade A) an emotional and heartfelt comedy.
83. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (Grade C+) is about 70% style and 30% substance, yet it is a film of breathtaking vision and craftsmanship.
84. Spanglish Grade B+) Flor, a beautiful, native Mexican woman becomes the housekeeper for the affluent, yet troubled, Clasky family. The result is a wittily perceptive collision of cultures and values, and a refreshingly honest look at such life-altering commitments as marriage, parenting and devotion to family.
85. Stepford Wives, The (Grade C) silly spoof about the age-old battle between the sexes.
86. Strayed (Grade B+) In subtitles. Strayed is a richly developed psychological drama set in 1940 France as a widow struggles to survive the ravages of war with her two children; but the ending that makes little sense.
87. Super Size Me (Grade B+) With holes in its arguments the height and width of the Golden Arches, this documentary has embraced yet another Blinding Glimpse of the Obvious, that eating 90 consecutive meals over 30 days exclusively at McDonald’s is probably not good for your health. Duh!
88. Terminal, The (Grade B-) Tom Hanks and the rest of the amiable cast make this bumpy ride worth sitting through.
89. Touching the Void (Grade A) a great film, one that puts a human face on adventure by starkly dramatizing the power of man's indefatigable resolve.
90. T-Rex: Back to the Cretaceous (Grade A) (IMAX) blends an entertaining fantasy with the sort of science-education programming associated with Imax films.
91. Troy (Grade A) An outstanding adaptation of Homer's great epic, the film follows the assault on Troy by the united Greek forces and chronicles the fates of the men and Women involved.
92. Twisted (Grade C+) easily falls into the Hollywood thriller formula, but Twisted is also the best film in recent memory shot in San Francisco by a director who actually lives there and knows the lay of the land.
93. Van Helsing (Grade C-) is a 19th century crime fighter. He works for the Catholic Church and vanquishes evil wherever it happens to be.
94. Vanity Fair (Grade B-) a somewhat soppy soap opera about social climbing and romance in 19th century English society.
95. Volcanoes of the Deep Sea (Grade A) (IMAX) The film takes a crushing voyage 12,000 feet down, near the Azores, to a constantly erupting volcanic rift to examine creatures that thrive in conditions that should cook them alive.
96. Welcome to Mooseport (Grade C+) TV comedy king Ray Romano makes his first foray into feature film in a pleasant but innocuous comedy.
97. Wicker Park (Grade C-) a deeply psychological story about love and obsession, is really a hard film to pin down--but curiously enough, that's a good thing.
98. Win a Date With Tad Hamilton (Grade B-) it's charming, witty, funny, tender and filled with sparkling performances.
99. Work and the Glory,The (Grade A) is a moving love story set against the backdrop of religious intolerance on the American frontier of the early 1800's.
100. Zelary (Grade A-) is the story of a beautiful corner of the Earth where everything lives in accordance with nature and her often cruel and timeless laws that humans must adapt to and honor.