2003 Movie Reviews

Movies: Entertainment is a very subjective experience! I go to movies because I want to be "entertained." I want to laugh, cry, vicariously experience a great ride, be adventurous, see spectacular things, get "jolted," have positive outcomes affirmed, see drama that challenges me and makes me think about my world, be inspired... and, in short, have some experience that temporarily displaces me from everyday life and changes my mood.

The following is a series of capsule reviews of movies that I have seen in the megaplex theaters of Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, St. George, Atlanta, Houston, Honolulu, Lahaina, Kahalui, Anaheim, Brea, Fullerton, La Verne, Orange, and Yorba Linda in 2003.

The synopsis comments are taken from http://www.rottentomatoes.com/. Most of the sardonic observations are mine, as are the letter grades.

28 Days Later (Grade D+) a film with an intriguing premise turns out to be an ugly, uncomfortable, gory, loud and sick zombie-fest. The audio is inconsistent in clarity (too loud/too soft/garbled, Transitions from shot to shot are choppy, Special Effects are excessive.

25^th Hour (Grade B) a drug dealer has just 24 hours before he has to go to prison for seven years. This is the story of those hours and how he chooses to spend them.

About Schmidt (Grade A) The film is an eclectic blend between comedy and tragedy, hope and despair, with plenty of social satire thrown in. It offers the viewer an opportunity to spend some time with the kind of man that we often meet in real life, but rarely see on screen.

Adaptation (Grade B) A clever Movie about the movies, brilliant, wickedly funny, fascinating, and eccentric, featuring a cast that is a marvel to behold. But sadly, art, life and screenplay clichés all merge into a vacuous ending.

A Guy Thing (Grade D+) In place of real romance and comedy, "A Guy Thing" offers worn-out clichés, by-the-numbers platitudes, and frozen smiles that few in the audience will want to imitate.

Alien Adventure (Grade B-) a computer-generated, animated 3-D effort that carries the Iwerks logo (Iwerks being IMAX's main competitor), and is quite engaging. It's a screwy blend of amusement park ride, sci-fi adventure and comedy that will please the whole family.

Alex & Emma (Grade C+) the critics soundly trashed this charming and engaging date movie. Even though it’s drowsy at times, Luke Wilson does his best work ever, and Kate Hudson is her usual charming self.

Anger Management (Grade C-) Although “Anger Management” had some very funny moments, the film on the whole grows increasingly tiresome with every frame.

American Wedding (Grade C- ) scatological, crude, dull, and even more gross than the first two American Pies, American Wedding ought to please fans of the series.

Antwone Fisher (Grade A) The film is a memoir of Antwone Fisher's miraculous journey from abandonment and abuse to liberation, manhood, and extraordinary success--a modern-day Oliver Twist.

Atlanta Campaign, The (Grade B-) depicts General Sherman's march from Chattanooga to Atlanta. The film is narrated by James Earl Jones and is featured at the Atlanta Cyclorama.

Bend it Like Beckham (Grade A). The film is an energetic, feel-good blend of comedy, romance and benign drama about a young woman clashing with her tradition-bound parents.

Beyond Borders (Grade C-) this is a daytime T.V. style soap opera, about a disaster relief doctor and a socialite that spans several years against an ever-changing backdrop of war.

Book of Mormon Movie: Volume 1 (Grade C+) shot on a shoestring budget, this film is based on scripture considered sacred by 12 million Mormons. But the actors are merely reciting Book of Mormon passages, so the story is dull and tedious, and never really makes any sense. I certainly applaud the Producers of the film for their good intentions.

Bread My Sweet ,The (Grade B-) Scott Baio (yes, the one-time Chachi of "Happy Days"), stars in this relatively simple story and uncomplicated morality play.

Bringing Down the House (Grade B-) When a big and beautiful convict from the 'hood asks an uptight lawyer to help her clear her name, he refuses--so she turns his perfectly ordered life upside down.

Brother Bear (Grade C+) Pleasant, if unremarkable, Disney fare.

Bruce Almighty (Grade C+) is an entertaining summer film, but it's hardly God's gift to comedy.

Casa De Los Babys (Grade B+) a powerful multi-character, multi-generational, multi-cultural study; that finds six Caucasian women all staying in the same hotel in an unnamed South America city, each waiting for their paperwork to be processed so they can go home with a child.

Charlie's Angels (Grade B-) is silly, unoriginal and lacking any socially redeeming value whatsoever. Audiences should love it! I sure did!

Charly (Grade B) The film is old-fashioned, occasionally charming and as subtle as boldface. It could be called "Love Story for the Latter-day Saints."

Chasing Papi (Grade C+) spotlights some of today's hottest and most celebrated Hispanic artists in a passable romantic farce.

Chicago (Grade A+) WINNER 2002 ACADEMY AWARD FOR BEST PICTURE Chicago is, quite simply, one of the two best movie musicals ever made. It’s fluffy, naughty, cynical, and best of all Chicago is fun and entertaining!

Cold Mountain (Grade A) A gorgeous, epic film whose characters, story and production are just about perfect in every way.

Confidence (Grade B) a stylish, compelling crime drama full of smoothly navigated plot twists.

Confessions of A Dangerous Mind (Grade C) a film based on Chuck Barris' dubious autobiography, "Confessions" explores the dark side of the American dream. Here's a guy who reached for the stars, got skewered and despised himself for it. It's tremendously clever, but ultimately pointless.

Core, The (B) while most of the 155 reviews I Read about this film were pejorative, I found it to be engaging, intriguing, innovative, and containing clever special effects.

Daredevil (Grade C) a comic-book movie made for fans. The more familiar you are with the title character’s history and the world of comics generally, the more you’re likely to appreciate this film.

Dark Blue (Grade C+) L.A. cop-and-corruption drama set against the Rodney King verdicts. The film is basically L.A. Confidential and Training Day (with a hint of "And Justice for All" grafted onto the third act).

Dickie Roberts:Former Child Star (Grade C+) If you ever wondered what happened to those child stars of the '70s and '80s, Dickie Roberts sheds some light. It's cute in places, but it crosses the line into bad taste more than once. Pedophiles will adore one scene.

Dirty Pretty Things: (Grade A) An astonishing glimpse into the underbelly of modern day London, and amid the lives of London's invisible people -- immigrants, prostitutes, servants -- the defenseless and endlessly exploited.

Down With Love (Grade C+) haplessly tries to recapture some of that witty, sexual innuendo repartee made famous in romantic comedies from the 1960s.

Elf (Grade B+) Buddy, a human raised by elves in the North Pole journeys to Manhattan in search of his biological father.

Evelyn (Grade A-) In 1953 Ireland, Desmond Doyle finds his life turned upside-

down when his wife walks out on him and his children. The film is a biting indictment against the Roman Catholic Church, and makes a strong case for the political separation of Church and State.

Fighting Temptations, The (Grade B) this broad comedy works best when people sing and don't talk.

Finding Nemo (Grade A) Completely engaging, fun, funny, adventurous and even heartwarming, "Finding Nemo" is an outstanding example of movie piquancy that will appeal to viewers of all ages.

Freaky Friday (Grade A) is a most pleasant summer surprise, a funny and sweet family comedy.

From Justin to Kelly (C-) America "Idols" Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini have outstanding musical talent that is showcased in this truly dreadful summer movie.

Gangs of New York (Grade C+) this film is a delusional, specious, deceptive, fallacious and insolent account of the struggles to control New York during the Civil War. However, the performance of actor Daniel Day-Lewis was magnificent.

Ghosts of the Abyss (Grade B) Shooting in a new IMAX 3D system, director James Cameron returns to the scene of his box-office triumph Titanic, this time to explore the remains of the world's most storied ocean liner.

Gods and Generals (Grade B-) Fascinating from a historical perspective but a bit dull from a dramatic one. The film was made strictly by and for Civil War buffs. Confederate General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson is the central character of the movie.

Good Boy! (Grade B-) Owen, a 12-year-old who has been working as the neighborhood dog walker to earn the privilege of getting a dog of his own, wakes up one morning to discover he can understand every word his new dog says.

Grand Canyon: The Hidden Secrets (Grade A) (IMAX) in only 35 minutes, you get an overview of Grand Canyon’s spectacular vistas, the history of its explorations, and its hidden arroyo’s not available on any tour.

Handcart (Grade C-) The last several years has seen an unprecedented surge in LDS produced feature films. I like the trend. The story of the Martin Handcart Company -- Mormon pioneers who nearly perished in the Wyoming snows in 1856, would make a great Hollywood epic, if the budget were big enough. Sadly, the film is slow and dull.

Head of State (Grade C-) Actor-screenwriter-director Chris Rock created this indistinct collection of softball social satire and barely connected skits.

Heaven (Grade C+) A British teacher living in Italy, repeatedly informs the police on the drug activity in her community, but to no avail. In an effort to exact revenge for her husband's drug overdose, the teacher seeks out the drug dealer responsible and carries out her own form of vigilante justice. She is arrested, escapes, and becomes a fugitive on the run.

Holes (Grade A-) is smart, funny, cynical and genuinely touching. It doesn't talk down to its intended audience, teaching about friendship without ever mentioning the word "friendship."

Hollywood Homicide (Grade C+) A weary but tenacious police veteran and his partner seem to be more interested in their side jobs than in the high-profile gangland-style murder they are currently investigating.

Honey (Grade C) is aimed directly at the teen crowd and offers enough whip-dip characters, hip-hop songs and energetic dancing to keep the demographic happy.

Hours, The (Grade A) The Hours is hypnotically platitudinous, and relentlessly downbeat, but it packs an emotional wallop. The acting, for the most part, is phenomenal.

Housekeeper, The (Grade B) (In subtitles) turns out to be an acutely observed (and felt) essay on loneliness; while painting a portrait of a confused, and ultimately curious man.

How to Deal (Grade C) a rat's nest of contrived melodrama, but with a charming cast.

How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days (Grade B-) Precisely the kind of light romantic entertainment most moviegoers are looking for these days.

Hulk, The (Grade C+) fantastic special effects are eclipsed by one of the stupidest, dreariest, most ridiculous and juvenile stories in cinematic history.

Hunted, The (Grade C-) A politically correct version of the classic film First Blood, recycled for the 21^st century complete with a Hispanic Rambo, a female FBI agent-in-charge, flagrant anti-military themes, an African American FBI bureau chief, and Al Gore’s Harvard roommate as the unlikely hero. The Hunted is Far-fetched, and harebrained, yet fascinating.

Identity (Grade C+) the film makes for a pretty wild ride if you're willing to leave your brain at the popcorn counter, because Identity doesn't outfox its audience; it just makes you feel like a schlemiel.

Intolerable Cruelty (Grade C+) here is a movie that hates Lawyers just as much as you do. It is a romantic comedy with attractive stars that starts out great, and then wilts away.

It Runs In The Family (Grade D+) Hollywood elitist Michael Douglas must think that his audience is so star-struck and witless that they will cheerfully shell out $9.50 a ticket for this absurdity. Save your money. Visit your Dentist for a root canal instead; it will be much less painful.

Italian Job, The (Grade C) a muddle-headed and puerile romp void of reason or understanding. Apparently, the film was created as an infomercial to feature the 2003 “MINI Cooper” from John Cooper Works in Great Britain.

Johnny English (Grade C+) its Secret Agent Formula 101, in this mildly amusing spoof of the James Bond British spy genre.

Just Married (Grade D+) Complete opposites marry and suffer through a dreary honeymoon in Europe. The film is Monotonous, and sitcomish, with a predictable plot.

L'Auberge Espagnole (Grade B+) The title loosely translates to Spanish Stew. Think of L'Auberge Espagnole, a French comedy-drama about a coterie of international exchange students living together in Barcelona, as Friends -- the International Edition.

Last Samuari,The (Grade B+) makes up for its shortcomings in its grand scope, immersing the audience in another time and re-creating the ancient world of the Japanese samurai.

Le Divorce (Grade C-) here is a movie that hates the French just as much as you do. It's Yanks against Frogs from the start, in a film long on the foibles of human interaction, but a bit short on filling in the details.

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (Grade B-) does what all good sequels should do: it sticks with the same formula, but adds fresh elements.

Levity (Grade B-) the film was rather like going to church and having to sit through one extremely long, record-setting sermon on guilt and forgiveness.

Life of David Gale, The (Grade D+) Instead of mounting an argument against socially sanctioned killing, the film is so nasty, hysterical and long-winded, that it gives the other side ammunition and allows those predisposed to executions to exit feeling smug and reassured in their beliefs.

Lion King, The (Grade A) The IMAX version of Disney's "The Lion King" looks pretty good and sounds even better.

Lizzie McGuire Movie, The (Grade B-) Fans of the TV show charmed by Lizzie will not

be disappointed, as the movie is definitely all hers.

Lost in Translation (Grade C-) a strange and pointless film focusing on the unlikely

friendship between an aging movie star, and the wife of a trendy photographer, while both are guests at a Tokyo hotel.

Love Actually (Grade B+) a feel good movie featuring nine interlocking and overlapping love stories, emotionally manipulative, but pleasantly so. Nice sentiment in places, with a likeable cast, but lots of distasteful bathroom humor.

Malibu’s Most Wanted (Grade C+) The hero is a white teen who tries so hard to be black that his politically ambitious father hires two African-American actors to pose as inner-city hoods and scare him back into white-bread behavior.

Manna From Heaven (Grade C) This inelegant comic fable, concerns a group of broadly drawn characters who one day discover a pile of money literally on their doorstep and use it to seed their dreams. Decades later, one of them, now a nun, decides they have to pay the money back.

Marci X (Grade D+) The story doesn't work, but the one-liners frequently do. FRIENDS made Lisa Kudrow rich; MARCI X will likely torpedo her career.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (Grade A) plunges viewers deep into the story of a British Navy ship at sea during the Napoleonic war. Rousing and authentic!

Matchstick Men (Grade B) when an obsessive-compulsive con artist meets his 14-year-old daughter for the first time, it changes his life forever.

Men Who Carved the Mountain (Grade B) film featured at Stone Mountain, Georgia tells the story of how the 27-metre-tall depiction of Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis and Stonewall Jackson (all on horseback) came to be carved into the side of the mountain.

Mona Lisa Smile (Grade B) a bohemian teacher tests her idealism in the conservative atmosphere of Wellesley College during the Fifties.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (Grade A) The surprise hit of 2002 is good-hearted, and

Obliging.

My Boss's Daughter (Grade C-) a young executive house-sits for his boss and tends to his prized pet owl in hopes of skipping a few rungs up the corporate ladder.

Mystic River (Grade A) A thriller of great emotional power, with Grippingly powerful performances from the entire cast.

Never Give Up: Richard Nixon in the Arena. (Grade B+) this film is featured at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library, in Yorba Linda, California, and it candidly reflects on Nixon’s colorful political career.

New Time, A New Voice (Grade B+) this film is featured at the Martin Luther King, Jr., National Historic Site in Atlanta, Georgia, and it tells about the life of King and his involvement in the civil rights movement of the 1950s and '60s.

Old School (Grade B-) a cheerful, unapologetically inane comedy that manages to get a reasonable share of laughs without constantly leaning on gross-out gags.

Open Range (Grade B) In a summer where the Rocky-on-a-horse Sea biscuit is winning acclaim just for simply not being a sequel, here is a story that actually says something.

Out of Time (Grade B) a fun and stylish thriller if you can get pass the contrivances.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl ( Grade B+) Loosely inspired by the well-known Disney theme-park ride. Great fun!

Phone Booth (Grade B+) Quick pacing and Colin Farrell's performance help make Phone Booth a tense nail-biter.

Pianist, The (Grade B+) The movie is based on a true story about a Jewish pianist who survived years of Nazi-induced hell. Roman Polanski, a “mentally disordered sex offender” convicted for drugging and raping a 13-year-old girl in Los Angeles, directed it. Polanski has been a fugitive from justice since 1977.

Quiet American, The (Grade A-) Thoughtful and skillfully acted, The Quiet American manages to capture the spirit of Graham Green's novel; which is set in Saigon, Vietnam, in 1952 during the French Indochina war.

Rabbit-Proof Fence (Grade A) Set in Australia in 1931; the film is a searing dramatization of a story of remarkable courage, stamina and spirit. It is visually beautiful and well acted.

Recruit, The (Grade B-) A brilliant young CIA trainee is asked by his mentor to help find a mole in the Agency; and for a ringside seat at the secret CIA training process, The Recruit delivers a somewhat fascinating view.

Runaway Jury (Grade A-) Overall, Runaway Jury runs away with logic and believability to promote its liberalistic propaganda under the false pretense of a serious legal drama.

Rundown, The (Grade B) is an unexpectedly entertaining and well-executed action comedy about a bounty hunter who goes to Brazil to retrieve boss's son.

R. M., The (Grade A) a delightful look at readjustment to life outside an L.D.S (Mormon) mission. It does help to know the Utah/Mormon culture in order to appreciate its oddities and be able to laugh at them.

Shackleton's Antarctic Adventure (Grade A) The story of the survival of British explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton and the crew of his vessel 'The Endurance', which shipwrecked in the ice floes and frigid open ocean of the Antarctic in 1914.

School of Rock (Grade B) after getting kicked out of his band, a hell-raising guitarist impersonates a substitute teacher and turns a class of fifth-grade high-achievers into high-voltage rock 'n' rollers.

SEABISCUIT (Grade A) An ensemble cast of likeable people enhance this true story of discouraged men in search of a new way of life, all of whom put their heart and soul into making Seabiscuit a champion race horse and the underdog favorite of a generation.

Secondhand lions (Grade B) a dour teen is forced to spend the summer with his grumpy old uncles. But life on their rundown Texas farm is anything but dull.

Secret Lives of Dentists, The (Grade B-) there are many films about marriages that aren’t quite working, but you’ll be hard pressed to find a better one at portraying just how difficult marriage and family life are, despite everyone’s best intentions.

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (Grade C+) provides more than enough good old-fashioned entertainment for the family.

Something’s Gotta Give ( Grade B) an intelligent, funny look at relationships with mostly sparkling dialogue and good performances.

Spy Kids 3D: Game Over (Grade C+) Clearly, this is a series that has run its course. Two-D or 3-D, this Spy Kid would be dull in any dimension. But my 9-year old grandson loved it!

Step into liquid (Grade A) a visually glorious surfing documentary which centers on a cross-section of characters catching and photographing waves from Rapa Nui to Sheboygan, Galveston to Maui. The highlight is a visit to Cortes Bank, 100 miles off the California coast, where once every 10 years there are 60-foot swells.
Tears of the Sun (Grade B-) Bruce Willis leads an elite squad into a remote village to evacuate Westerners who refuse to leave unless the villagers come along. The movie hammers home a sobering message, and offers an enlightening but disturbing look at the conditions that permeate war-torn countries.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (Grade B-) the chase and fight scenes in this sequel are dazzling. "T3" is endlessly riveting, and bolstered with comic relief.

Thirteen (Grade B+) a very disturbing film about a 13-year-old girl gone wild. The film helps the viewer understand some of the reasons why our social fabric is unraveling.

Timeline (Grade B) In the near future, a technology corporation has created a method of traveling into the past. When a history professor is trapped in 1357 France, three Yale students travel back to rescue him.

Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (Grade C-) Intrepid adventurer Lara Croft, globe-trots from Hong Kong to Kenya in search of ancient artifacts on yet another quest to save the world.

Truth About Charlie, The (Grade D+) is a remake of the 1963 Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant movie, Charade. It's a wearisome way to spend two hours.

Under the Tuscan Sun (Grade B) a divorcee searches for true love in this romantic comedy set in scenic Tuscany.

Uptown Girls (Grade C+) Molly is forced to get a job when her manager steals all of her money. She becomes a nanny for Ray the daughter of a very busy music executive. Ray is just what Molly needs to help her grow up.

View from the Top (Grade C-) Gwyneth Paltrow is hopelessly miscast as a trailer trash refugee who finds solace by working as a flight attendant for a schlock airline.

Whale Rider (Grade A) A fascinating glimpse into Maori culture of New Zealand.

What Every Girl Wants (Grade B) little girls will definitely enjoy it, but it's too syrupy and predictable for adults, with the notable exception of my wife and I. We loved it!

Winged Migration (Grade A) the film is an elegant and poetic study of birds in flight, and their amazing odysseys, species by species, flying over seas and continents. Stunning visual impact!

X2: X-Men United (Grade B-) the movie is an over plotted, obdurate, hodgepodge, of special effects and continuous action, that will please fans of the Marvel Comics series.

Washington Heights (Grade B-) a talented artist must run his father's grocery store after the father is wounded during a robbery.